Saying, “I’m sorry,” especially when you’re not at fault, is usually an automatic reaction — and chances are you’ve probably said it a handful of times this week.
Over-apologizing for things you have little control over can make people think less of you.
For me, I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who are constantly reminding me that it’s okay not to say sorry sometimes.
” More of a good thing isn’t always better. “
More of a good thing isn’t always better. And this is true of apologizing. Over-apologizing dilutes your apologies when they’re really needed. And over-apologizing can make you look less confident.
It can seem as though you’re sorry for everything – for your actions and feelings, for taking up space, for your mere existence.
Of course, there are times when we all need to apologize. We should apologize when we’ve done something wrong – hurt someone’s feelings, said or done something offensive, been disrespectful, or violated someone’s boundaries.
You do not need to apologize for:
Things you didn’t do
Things you can’t control
Things other adults do
Asking a question or needing something
Your appearance
Your feelings
Not having all the answers
Not responding immediately
It’s okay for you to have needs. It’s okay for you to have preferences. It’s okay for you to want something different or have a special request. It’s okay for you to take up space. It’s okay for you to exist.
” It’s okay for you to exist. “
For many of us, over-apologizing is a bad habit. And like any habit, it takes effort and practice to undo a bad habit and replace it with a new behavior. So, don’t be discouraged if you find that over-apologizing is a hard habit to break.
It needs practice and that’s okay.