Accepting kindness means accepting that you are worthy of kindness — a notion that some of us struggle with. In general, we find it hard to reveal our inner emotions & that includes accepting kindness from others.
When we let self-doubt run the show, kindness bounces off of us & we’re left feeling as if we’ll never be good enough. When someone wants to show you love, accept it, because you know that you are worth it— everyone is.
Just because someone shows you kindness, it doesn’t mean you owe them anything. Sometimes people are kind because they just want to be kind! Don’t feel as if you have to reciprocate or that kindness comes with strings attached.
Just like everything, accepting kindness too takes time. Getting there takes time. But being able to receive compliment, especially from someone that means something to you/your loved one is a step in the right direction.
It’s a reminder that someone else can & does see the wonderful things about you, even if you can’t see them yourself as often as you’d like.
You should also practice being kind to others. Kindness comes in many forms, like making the time to spend quality time with someone, offering help & support, sending little notes of encouragement, or getting psyched when something good happens for someone else.
” Just like everything, accepting kindness too takes time. “
I used to hold back on sending love & support to people because I was afraid it would come across as insincere (especially online). But once I started being real & sending good vibes to people, it became a natural & lovely thing.
It’s often reciprocated or at the very least met with surprise & appreciation. If you show that side of yourself often enough, people will realise that you’re not putting on a front, that it’s just a part of who you are. In my experience, they’ll be more open & kind in return.
Competitiveness, plus the internet’s tendency to view genuine displays of positive emotion with a side-eye, can make it seem weird to put yourself out there.
You may worry that people will think you’re “fake” or “corny’, but the point of practicing kindness is to place the good above the bad.
After a while, you won’t care what an imagined audience thinks of how you run your life, because you’ll start to recognize how good it feels to give & receive kindness. The world is mean enough. The least we can do is learn how to be nice to ourselves and to one another.
Pause to appreciate the person who has reached out. Seeing the person being kind to us as a person rather than someone performing a function can really help. This way, we can connect with them as another human being, someone with hopes and fears and feelings, just like us.
Put yourself into someone else’s shoes. Imagine their life. Appreciate the fact that we all face many of the same issues in life. This will help you appreciate their kindness more. Sometimes all it takes is few sentences to spell out your gratitude to make all the difference.
It can also be beneficial to slow down & savour the moment when you’ve been helped. Such life-enhancing moments of receiving kindness are often fleeting & can get drowned out by our ordinary everyday low times.
Think of them as stop-and-savour moments. Make the magic last longer by giving yourself an extra second or two to stop and say thank you.
Sometimes we don’t realise how important it can be to our psychological health to be more open to our feelings, including gratitude. In showing that you are grateful to someone rather than dodging their offer of help, you’re allowing your true emotions to be expressed.
” The world is mean enough. “
Giving and taking kindness in our exchanges and connections with others is an important outlet. Makes us realise that we are good enough. We might struggle to accept the kindness of others but it is good for us to do so.
Let kindness be a part of your everyday life. Accept it when it comes, and give it when you feel moved to do so. Eventually, it turns into a natural rhythm. And you’ll find that the positivity and warmth it generates will make you and everyone around you shine a little brighter.
Some suggestions on how to practice kindness.
At home & in your community
Call a friend who you haven’t spoken to for a while
Post a card or letter to someone you are out of touch with
Send flowers to a friend, out of the blue
Find out if a neighbour needs any help with shopping
Ring someone who is on their own, or video call them
Send someone a handwritten thank you note
Tell your family how much you love and appreciate them
Help with household chores
Help with household chores
Offer to help an elderly or vulnerable neighbour
Check on someone you know who is going through a tough time
At work
Say hi to colleagues and ask how they are
Offer to support colleagues who may need help job wise
Set up coffee/lunch meet-ups
Have conversation with a colleague you don’t normally talk to
Have conversation with a colleague you don’t normally talk to
Lend your ear – listen to your colleague who is having a bad day
Say thank you to a colleague who has helped you
Praise a colleague for something they have done well
In public places
Follow the rules in social setting ie stay quiet in cinema
Wish a passer-by good morning or afternoon
Be a considerate cyclist/driver
Pick up some rubbish lying around in the street
On social media
Take time to reach out online to people you haven’t seen for a while
Write something nice or encouraging on a post you appreciate
Acknowledge and validate someone’s story – if they are having a difficult time you don’t have to have all the answers, sometimes a like or a brief ‘I’m sorry to hear this, is there something I can do?’ is enough to make them feel heard
Think about what you share. Look at the source of the post, & the tone. If it isn’t kind, think twice. If something could upset others & you feel you need to post it, use a trigger or content warning
Think about your comments and replies. Try not to say nasty things
Acts of kindness have the potential to make the world a happier place. An act of kindness can boost feelings of confidence, being in control, happiness and optimism. Saying thank you and accepting another’s kindness is human. It is what connects us. The energy runs both ways.
I challenge you today not to give an act of kindness, but to humbly receive one, too. It feels good. It feels like love.